I carry the weight of two worlds on my shoulders
Every single day I bear a sack full of boulders
Mingling my cultures as I get older
Life is a war, and forever I’m a soldier
Moving on this road like a new Range Rover
I’m in the hot seat as the world grows colder
Is this the continuing journey of the loner?
The life of a child has long been over….
Move through the glares so my body isn’t frozen
Humble, so I’m clearly not looking for glory
Hear ye, brethren, for this is my story
And there is no need for you to worry
It would seem, that I am to carry out the dreams
Of all of my people, from adults to teens
From Black America to LIB
What is to become of me, of B?
I’ve figured out why the earth is warmer
It is because people are getting colder
I wish my mind would just get out and shout
Say everything society and the norms says is not allowed
What they wouldn’t consider right
What I know would stir up a fight
Whether it be of race, religion, political,
I know it will reflect hate, hundreds of years of events that has led to this fate
Always the cause of great debates and the top story of the news at 8
But then I remember that I’m not even from here
I’m from the place the where the freed men were
B4 they were enslaved and the degradation of blacks took place
I represent the L
A place many would consider hell
But being from there, I know there is hope
Like Obama, I must be part of that Hope
I’ve sacrificed my sanity to make others smile
I’ve been somewhat of a lonely child
How can you go to your home and have no friends?
And just sit down, sit down, again and again?
I’ve watched little Sabrina go to play with her friends
She’s had them over, slumber parties, and she’s done it often
And every single day I hear stories of what people did
While here I am, clinging to the hobbies of a kid
I’ve wasted away, my childhood’s all but dried
No one will know all the times I have cried
To the point that the dry tears stung at my eyes
And growing up, life…I couldn’t decide
But regardless, I stayed on so far for the ride
Even through the pain and the lies
Searching the skies; asking God “Why?”
I ponder silently upon the meaning of life
Of the struggle, we often juggle the choices we’ve made
And battle constantly with the prices we’ve paid
The “dragons” we’ve slain, those whom we’ve caused pain
They keep turning in my head again and again….
I feel the pressure of a country press down on me
It’s heavy, I feel like Atlas
and then I think of M.L.K who said Free At last, Free At Last, thank God Almighty I’m freed At Last
Is it physical, mental, intellectual or social
Because I know for sure it is not Racial
By freedom, I know not what he means
I know that I am closer to my dreams
But how about my people, The different colors of the black Diaspora?
Can I suffer myself for 27 years like that guy Nelson Mandela?
When will it all end, the turmoil, the agony?
The knife of brutal truth must love stabbing me
Seems like so many people screaming, “Have at thee!”
Grabbing their swords and just poking and stabbing
Pain is the “master”, and I the “apprentice”; yet how am I to achieve mastery?
When pain is everlasting, how can one be free?
The family is a wreck, and the shadow of his death still looms (R.I.P. DJ)
How can I sleep when my bed reminds me of a tomb?
The light is fading, consumed by the darkness
Tempted once again by the infernal Heartless
If Omarion had an Ice Box, then my heart’s become Arctic
Or even Antarctic, and little left is cathartic
I’ve wondered forever when I’d break free of this lid
When I’d destroy this shell that I had as a kid
I guess it’s that time, and while I’ll still live
I don’t know how much happiness I’ve left to give
No, no, no, I am a selfish human being
Taught to be that way since I attained adulthood at the tender age of fourteen
Taught that no one cares about me except myself
Considered a kid or an adult depending on which one will offer the help
Such mixed attitudes brings about actions that conflicts
Thought and speech is insightful and mature even though the clothes reflect the child
Adaptation to situations are learned quickly
Silence, smiles and agreement are the best weapons
They are also the worst response
Soon, being assertive is considered being rude and being passive is being respectful
His opinion are twisted to be in agreement and any question ends with “ but it was you..
It’s true; he did agree to do whatever deed.
After all, he is not that smart, he is still a kid